It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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