Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
