I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Still dying that you shit outside
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
