Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
