she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
