I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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