Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
