You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
