I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
