Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
