I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
