it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
