At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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