Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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