im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
