that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
