Please, let me fuck your mom
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
