You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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