Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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