How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's never too late to be topless.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
