This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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