the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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