i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
