where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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