i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My life is pants optional.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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