Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
