peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
