The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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