It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
