If i come over, it means nothing
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
