I got chris browned last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
