doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
