peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
