didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
