evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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