Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
