a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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