The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
