you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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