she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
