his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
