it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
