HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
