he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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