and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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