hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
