hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
