my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he had hair everywhere except his balls
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
