a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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