Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
