Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
